It's 6:38pm, it's minus 2 outside and I'm anticipating something, but waiting for nothing. There's things to look forward to like the new floor hockey league the boys and I from ABC have been anticipating. New classes and warmer weather. But because of the way 2006 ended I've had to constantly battle with forgetting the past and moving forward. It's hard to move forward when your life is idling. I really don't like long breaks. Especially when you friends aren't around. Lately I've had thoughts of moving back to Vancouver. At least my friends are there and it's the city I love and know. I could be alonein that city but theres something about being alone in your geographical center. But the reason I left Vancouver was because of change, and more so because I needed to change the enviroment and forget certain things.
The move was good, blessings came and I'm moving on with my life. I'm halfway done my education and living in Calgary will benefit me in the long run. But Last semester brought upon some heartache, hardships and lessons to be learned and improved upon. I feel like I'm back in that situation when I first left Vancouver. I want to leave Calgary. Not really, but I feel like it.
But this time I don't want to just run. I want to face what I'm going through head on. The one person I held up so high and thought couldn't hurt me like I was hurt before has completely fallen off my radar. I wish her all the best, but I know distance and silence will be best to face moving on. School has turned into a bit of a hostile enviroment. Some people aren't returning I hear and some have used the internet to boast hate. I'm sadddend by whats going on and I hope for a better semester.
One last thing... I feel very disoriented in my life. All the things that have gone on in my life have accumulated to this, to this feeling. I'm caught in a storm and hope to whether it soon. We can't ever avoid or never want these things to happen to our lives. We can only hold fast and continue to hope. Hope in the promises of God and stay faithful.
Back to the grind ... looking to better days.
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How tragic would it be if you continued to live in the past when today is right in front of you and tomorrow is just over the horizon. Don't wake up 30 years down the road wondering what happened to your life. Start living today in light of God's grace and love and be transformed from the inside out. Stop yourself when you feel like swimming in past hurts but instead be thankful. Peace which transends all understanding is waiting for you to grab a hold of. Don't let it pass you by!
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