Somewhere In Between

This weekend my friend Jose and his wife dropped by for a visit from Vancouver. They are on there way to Edmonton for a BCBC(British Columbia Baptist Conference) meeting(s). It was good to see some old friends. Things have changed, Des is carrying a baby bump these days. If I'm correct she said it's been six months now. 3 more to go. We had dinner and ended up watching The Protector. Tony Jaa has some amazing Muy Thai martial art skills. But He has to get some new writers cause it was just like Ong Bak all over again (his first North American release), just diffrent stunt guys he had to beat up this time 'round. But the elephants were really cool.

Tonight I watched Cars, I liked it. I'm not a big animation guy or NASCAR junkie. Overall it was quite entertaining and I would have to say it is up there with my top 3 of Disney movies: Hercules, Lion King, Finding Nemo.

Our Hockey league resumes this week and again I'm getting the itch again. 3 days of work, 1 full full day of school and it's HOCKEY TIME! I keep looking at my sticks in my room and tell them "I can't wait". Oh yes I talk to my hockey sticks.

Blog? News? Current Events? Personal Journal? Photo Blog? Emo Writings? I really don't want to use this blog space to get emo-open with the world wide web. I'm really trying hard not to. But it seems it's the only place where I can reflect on my thoughts. And putting it out in public helps me really think hard about what I'm trying to say. The thought that comes through my mind all the time as I visit my blogger space is that it's a place for attention. I don't seek it and I don't think my site creates enough traffic to get it. I don't want it. In my Building Community class, we touched on it a little bit in class. I think some of the comments were, "its a place to get attention without being in community". "You can express your thoughts to a variety of people, to get a random response for attention".

I realize that I like to be the center of attention at times. Being on blogger gives me anonymity to random people on the internet, but also a free forum to those who may know me and get to see the otherside of me through this blog. I could easily start writing a journal and keep it by the bedside table. BUT I guess I crave to share my thoughts, which is simply that. And somewhere in between, I express my EMO-OPEN side.

Lately I've been stuck. Because I'm trying to figure out the good in Goodbye. Rediscovering what it's like to enjoy each day. And how tobemarked can get his groove back. I'm doing my best, but somedays it all comes pouring in and then some. Johnny Cash reminds me, "I hurt myself today, just to see if I still feel". I was reading Oswald Chambers My Utmost for his Highest. It had something to do with protecting our worship. It got me thinking of all the things that suck us dry from being worshippers of God. Q. Why would we want to worship anything? We worship all the time ... and it could be anything; music, people, money, lust, HOCKEY!!!! But I realize that the only thing that is worth worshipping is God. Why? It is the only thing that give us pure joy. It fills us and brings peace and fullfillment. Wholeness!?! (is that a word?)

But lately I haven't been protecting my worship. People, the world etc. have been sucking me dry. And I've been emptied out. I haven't been protecting my worship. I'm doing my best and I'm trying to put my thoughts through the Jesus filter and the promises he has promised to his people. APPLICATION x10, I need to keep going ... I'm just Somewhere In Between

Somewhere In Between

I can't keep Losing sleep over this

No I can't And now I cannot stop pacing

Give me a few hours I'll have this all sorted out

If my mind would just stop racing
Cause I cannot stand still

I can't be this unsturdy

This cannot be happening
This is over my head But underneath my feet

Cause by tomoroow morning I'll have this thing beat

And everything will be back to the way that it was

I wish that it was just that easy
Would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in

Dont be surprised if I collapse down at your feet again

I don't want to run away from this

I know that I just don't need this
Cause I'm waiting for tonight

Been waiting for tomoroow

I'm somewhere in between

- Lifehouse